you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
