I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
