She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think my fart just growled at me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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