my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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