Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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