she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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