i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will be naked everywhere
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
