but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
do herpes really smell.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
