Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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