There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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