did you get engaged???
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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