I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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