The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
