As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
