It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
