Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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