Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're like the curious george of whores
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
