I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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