he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
