We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My life is pants optional.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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