My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you had me at cake vodka
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Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize