You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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