we're blogging at a bar
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
