HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
