That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
