she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
