Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize