That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
