I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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