Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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