They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
