Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
