With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
