I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
