Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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