i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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