Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
