Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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