making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize