BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
