Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
