do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
