I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
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I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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