been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize