i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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