wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Boobs are out for the taking
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.