sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning