Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake. (303): She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye http://tfl.nu/k1ky
  Replies (4) Good night (1366) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table. http://tfl.nu/iec6
  Replies (87) Good night (806) Bad night (7819)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face http://tfl.nu/tsxz
  Replies (16) Good night (4243) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon. http://tfl.nu/06ms
  Replies (9) Good night (2417) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today http://tfl.nu/56ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1584) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): 1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow! http://tfl.nu/fjak
  Replies (9) Good night (2809) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up... (978): Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis? http://tfl.nu/mb06
  Replies (12) Good night (1704) Bad night (3643)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/ef3v
  Replies (3) Good night (1673) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable. http://tfl.nu/maf5
  Replies (22) Good night (4481) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED http://tfl.nu/8bov
  Replies (6) Good night (2105) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket. http://tfl.nu/ujcd
  Replies (4) Good night (1371) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo http://tfl.nu/x6fo
  Replies (2) Good night (1496) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color http://tfl.nu/9bip
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely http://tfl.nu/vc4m
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack http://tfl.nu/vyx2
  Replies (7) Good night (704) Bad night (217)

Randomize