I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
