We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
