Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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