I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
