you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize