remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
