Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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