she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
