This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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