My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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