I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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