so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This can only be settled by a dance off.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
