Tell her she can't have a vagina
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
