just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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