Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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